Boy, do skits ever present variations of themselves over time, this one over but a period of a month.

Cast: Army sergeant, 3 privates

Setting: Boot Camp

The three privates are in line, side by side, listening to the sergeant's instructions.

Sergeant: (using one of those yelling voices) OK men! Listen up! We're going to do a long, hard,

invigorating, uphill quick march! I don't want any weenies! Left turn! (They all turn; sergeant takes up the front.)

Quick forward march!

They all begin doing a quick march (stay in place, of course.) All of a sudden, the private in back sneezes.

Sergeant: Company Halt! OK, who did that? You? (Pointing to the first private.)

Private: N-n-no Sir!

Sergeant: I said no weenies! Integrity is important! All liars die! (Shoots the private.)

Private: Oh! You shot and killed me! (Dies.)

This last scene repeats itself with some variation, but essentially it's the same.

The scene continues to repeat itself until finally,

Sergeant: Who did that? You?

Private: Y-y-yes Sir!

Sergeant: Oh, you poor darling, do you have a cold? Here, have a tissue!

Version 2:

Essentially the same, but each private, having just been asked "Any objections?" giving a leering, threatening

look, gives an excuse such as "I have to take care of my aging grandmother," "I left a tap running," and so on.

Each one is killed, or dismissed, according to your desires. Finally, after all are dead or dismissed, he exclaims,

"Ah, good! I wasn't looking forward to this march anyway. I'll just go lie down."