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New Saw

Announcer: This scene takes place in a hardware store in a small north woods lumber town.

Lumberjack: (Enters) My old crosscut saw is worn out, and I need something that will let me cut more wood, or

I'm going to go broke !

Owner : Yes, sir ! For only one hundred bucks you can be the proud owner of this chain saw. I

guarantee that it will cut twice as much wood in a day as your own crosscut.

Lumberjack: (Handing over money) O.K. great ! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters tiredly) There's something wrong with this saw. I worked very hard yesterday, and only

cut half as much wood.

Owner : Well, sir, I have a lot of faith in this product. Here, I'll put a new chain on it and you give it another

try.

Lumberjack: O.K., but if it doesn't do any better, I'll be back ! (Exits)

Announcer: The next day.

Lumberjack: (Enters exhausted) This darned saw is no good. I worked even harder, and still it won't cut half

the wood of my old saw ! I want my money back !

Owner : Yes, sir ! Just let me check it out here. (Pulls starter rope)

Announcer: (Makes sound effects of saw running.)

Lumberjack: Oh, my gosh ! What on earth is all that noise ?